I wrote this poem, but it just feels awkward in verse form. Think it would be better as prose? Comment your opinion, please!
Years pass
hidden
away in a drawer,
forgotten by others,
unknown
to me.
The contents
are revealed
many
years later,
Reminiscent
of things that
used to be.
A memory surfaces
in the form of
a letter
many
pages in length.
Blow away
the dust and read
words
that were never meant for me.
A name appears,
my own,
alongside of a hope
that I'd held onto for so
long.
Hope that, as written,
was never meant to
be.
Conversations,
conventions,
I was not aware of
fill
the pages,
and I discover the
truth
of what was
never meant to be told.
Though it is years
old, I realize
my hopes
were all in vain.
Feelings
trust
are all broken.
The love,
faith,
freely given,
I withdraw in
pain.
Because of
what will never be
meant
for me.
Mmn, I think I understand what you mean by slightly awkward. But I like that. It may sounds strange, but it grasps the hesitancy of the writer. Almost like you are stuttering. Nervous. Sighing. Like your pencil is trailing off as if tired, but the tiredness is coming from that which is internal. I don't know. Yes, it feels stiff, but I think the writer feel boxed in as well, and then suddenly was melting out of the enclosure.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry if that was totally random and confusing...there is my comment :p
No, that made sense! :) It makes me feel better that it seems to communicate hesitancy, which is kinda what I was going for. So, thank you! :)
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